Raise Your Internal Standards
Three weeks of putting stoic principles in action and something fundamental shifted this week.
I finished 75 Hard Phase 1 on Friday. 75 days of two workouts, strict nutrition, a gallon of water, 10 pages of reading, progress photo. Done.
Most people would celebrate, take a break, ease up. I ran a 43-mile birthday run on Saturday. Got back to the gym Sunday. Because here’s what I’ve learned through these three weeks of daily Stoic practice:
It’s not about the challenge. It’s about who you become through consistency. And once you’ve raised your standards, going back is a waste of everything you did to get there.
Week 3 was titled “Make Honesty Your Only Policy” in the Daily Stoic journal. At first, I thought this would be about telling the truth. But it went deeper than that. This week was about being honest with yourself – about your habits, your intentions, your standards, and whether you’re living up to them when nobody’s watching.
Day 15: Give People The Benefit of the Doubt
The Lesson: Don’t jump to hasty judgments. Even a dog distinguishes between being stumbled over and being kicked. Assuming malice makes everything harder to bear.
What Hit Me: This became my daily practice while driving. Every time someone does something “odd” on the road – cuts me off, drives slowly, changes lanes abruptly – instead of getting mad, I try to put myself in their shoes.
Maybe they’re rushing to the hospital. Maybe they just got devastating news. Maybe they’re distracted by something overwhelming in their life. I don’t know their story, so why choose the interpretation that makes me angry?
This is stoic principles in action at their simplest: you can’t control what others do, but you can control the story you tell yourself about why they did it. Choose the generous interpretation. It doesn’t cost you anything, and it saves you from carrying unnecessary anger.
Day 16: Spread The Word Through Behavior
The Lesson: Share Stoic wisdom through behavior, not lectures. “Behavior is always a better example than a lecture.” If someone needs help or asks for guidance, provide it.
What Hit Me: I wrote about continuing to be that example to others. It’s not just about knowing the information but applying it so others see through action, not just words.
My 5-year-old son doesn’t need lectures about patience or emotional control. He needs to see me pause when I’m frustrated. He needs to watch me take a breath instead of yelling. He needs to see me apologize when I mess up.
That’s how you spread philosophy – not by talking about it, but by living it. When people see you stay calm in traffic, choose kindness in difficult interactions, keep showing up day after day – that’s more powerful than any quote you could share.
Day 17: The Benefit of Kindness
The Lesson: Every interaction is an opportunity for kindness. You can’t control if people return it, but you can always control giving it. Wherever there is a human being, there’s an opportunity for kindness.
What Hit Me: Really, any interaction I have – that’s what I can control. By giving kindness, I’m giving positive energy. And like attracts like.
This connects to the driving example. When I choose to give that distracted driver the benefit of the doubt, I’m being kind to myself as much as to them. I’m not carrying anger for the rest of my drive. I’m not bringing that negative energy home to my son.
Every checkout person, every person who bumps into me, every difficult interaction – it’s a choice point. Kindness or irritation. Understanding or judgment. And each choice compounds.
Day 18: Frenemies – The Hard Mirror
The Lesson: Avoid false friendships, yes. But more importantly – avoid being a false friend yourself. The Stoics weren’t about judging others. They were about judging your own behavior.
What Hit Me: I show up for my small circle authentically. With acquaintances, I try not to talk down about them because I don’t know them well enough to even state an opinion.
This is about integrity. Being the same person whether they’re in the room or not. Not saying one thing to someone’s face and another behind their back. My circle is small by choice – quality over quantity. But with everyone, whether they’re in my inner circle or just someone I know casually, I try to be consistent.
No two-faced behavior. No fake friendships. Just honest, straightforward interactions. That’s the standard.
Day 19: Good Habits Drive Out Bad Habits
The Lesson: When a bad habit reveals itself, counteract it with a contrary good habit. Like training a dog – give it something else to do instead of just fighting the behavior. Use the counterforce of your training.
What Hit Me: Continue with the good habits I’ve been forming. Waking up early. Scheduling out my day. Working out. These good habits pull me away from the bad habits.
This is where 75 Hard and daily Stoic practice reinforce each other perfectly. When I wake up early and knock out my first workout, there’s no space for the old habit of scrolling mindlessly or hitting snooze. When I schedule my day with specific time blocks, there’s no room for overcommitting and breaking promises to myself.
The good habits actively crowd out the bad ones. I’m not just fighting old patterns – I’m replacing them with better ones. And after 75 days of two-a-day workouts, that discipline carries into everything else.
But here’s what most people miss: the challenge ending doesn’t mean the habits stop. Friday was day 75. Saturday I ran 43 miles for my birthday. Sunday I was back in the gym. Because the habits aren’t about the challenge anymore. They’re about the internal standards I’ve set.
Day 20: Do Your Principles Show in Your Life?
The Lesson: Marcus Aurelius asks – do your principles show themselves in your life? Not in your thoughts, not in your knowledge, but in your actual day-to-day actions. Your life is the answer to what you believe.
What Hit Me: Yes, they do. And it only gets better the more I show up daily. It’s ups and downs, but when you reflect and look back, you see the improvement.
This hit hard after finishing 75 Hard. I could see the trajectory – from Day 1 of Stoic practice when I was just starting to pause, to Day 20 where those pauses are becoming automatic. From struggling with patience to catching myself before I react. From carrying anger to letting it go quickly.
The principles aren’t just ideas I know about anymore. They’re showing up in how I drive, how I parent, how I respond to difficulty, how I structure my days. That’s what mental toughness actually looks like – not never struggling, but having the principles so integrated that you can access them when it matters.
Day 21: Focus on Now, Not Legacy
The Lesson: Don’t waste time thinking about future recognition or legacy. Alexander the Great’s name lasted centuries, but he’s dead – he doesn’t get to enjoy it. Focus every bit of yourself on being the best person you can be right now. Do the right thing, right now. The distant future is irrelevant.
What Hit Me: Focus on the now because that’s really all that matters. Put your head down and do the work.
I’m enjoying the process and the now. I don’t need the recognition. It’s about raising the internal standards that I’ve set for myself.
This was the breakthrough of Week 3. Not external expectations. Internal standards.
Nobody’s giving me credit for the daily Stoic practice. Nobody sees most of the moments where I choose patience over anger, kindness over irritation, showing up over quitting. And that’s fine. That’s actually the point.
I’m not doing any of this for applause. I’m doing it because I’ve decided this is who I want to be. And the only person who needs to know if I’m meeting that standard is me.
What Changed This Week
The 43-mile birthday run: People think challenges like this are about pushing limits. And sure, there’s that. But really, it’s about consistency and the mindset you build through showing up. I trained for months. Put in the miles. Did the work when I didn’t feel like it. The actual 43 miles was just the visible result of hundreds of invisible decisions to keep going.
That’s stoic principles in action – not the dramatic moments, but the daily consistency that makes dramatic moments possible.
Finishing 75 Hard and immediately continuing: This is where most people fall off. They complete the challenge, celebrate, and slowly drift back to old habits. All that work, all that discipline – wasted because they thought the challenge was the point.
The challenge was never the point. The habits were. The internal standards were. The person you become through daily discipline was.
So yeah, I finished 75 Hard on Friday. And I kept going. Because stopping would be dishonest to myself. I’d be lying about who I said I wanted to become.
Internal standards over external expectations: This was the game-changer. I’m not showing up because someone expects it. I’m not being patient with my son because I should. I’m not choosing kindness because it looks good.
I’m doing all of it because I’ve set internal standards for myself. And the only person I’m accountable to for meeting those standards is me. That’s freedom. That’s integrity. That’s what these 21 days of practice have built.
The Honest Truth
Week 3 was called “Make Honesty Your Only Policy” and here’s the honest truth: I still mess up. I still have moments where the old me shows up. I still feel the pull of old patterns.
But the trend line over three weeks is clear. I’m catching myself faster. I’m choosing better more often. I’m applying stoic principles in action instead of just thinking about them.
And I’m not doing it for recognition or credit or to impress anyone. I’m doing it because I’ve raised my internal standards, and going back would be a waste of everything I’ve done to get here.
Week 1, 2, and 3: The Evolution
Week 1 taught me the foundations: patience, wisdom, interconnectedness, choosing words carefully.
Week 2 taught me to practice love: give love first, choose compassion over revenge, internal shifts over external reactions.
Week 3 taught me about honesty and internal standards: benefit of the doubt, kindness in every interaction, good habits driving out bad ones, principles showing in my life, focusing on now instead of legacy, and most importantly – doing the work for myself, not for credit.
Each week builds on the last. The patience from Week 1 supports the love from Week 2, which supports the internal standards from Week 3. It’s all interconnected.
What I’m Carrying Forward
The benefit of the doubt is my default now. When someone does something that could make me angry, I actively choose the generous interpretation. Not because they deserve it, but because I deserve the peace that comes from not carrying unnecessary anger.
Good habits are non-negotiable. 75 Hard ended, but waking up early didn’t. Two workouts might adjust, but moving my body daily won’t. The habits aren’t tied to a challenge anymore. They’re tied to my internal standards.
Internal standards over everything. This is the foundation now. Not what others think. Not what gets recognized. Not what looks impressive. What aligns with the person I’ve decided to be.
Stoic principles in action, not theory. These aren’t ideas I think about. They’re practices I use every single day – in traffic, with my son, in difficult interactions, when I’m tired, when old patterns pull at me.
The work continues regardless. There’s no finish line to becoming a better person. No point where you’ve “arrived” and can stop. It’s just the daily practice of showing up and choosing better.
What About You?
If you’re in the middle of a challenge – 75 Hard, a training program, any structured discipline – remember this: the challenge isn’t the point. Who you become through consistency is.
And when the challenge ends, that’s when the real test begins. Will you keep the standards you built? Will you maintain the habits? Or will you drift back to who you were before?
Most people drift back. Not because they can’t maintain it, but because they were doing it for the challenge, not for themselves. They were chasing external validation, not building internal standards.
Don’t waste what you built. Keep going. Raise your internal standards and refuse to go back.
What internal standard could you set for yourself today that has nothing to do with what anyone else thinks or notices?
That’s where real transformation lives.