IT JUST IS

Five weeks into this Daily Stoic practice, and I finally said out loud what I’ve been avoiding: I feel lonely.

Not in the “I need more friends” way. In the “nobody gets what I’m trying to do” way. I’m grinding on the business. I’m running. Ifinished 75 Hard. I’m journaling every morning. I’m trying to be a better dad to my five-year-old. And I keep looking around thinking—where are the people who understand this?

The problem wasn’t that those people don’t exist. The problem was how I was looking for them.

The Isolation I Built Myself

I’ve been filtering people through a really narrow lens: Do they run ultras? Do they do hard things? Are they grinding like me?

If the answer was no, I didn’t really let them in. Not fully. I stayed on my island, doing my work, convinced that only people who operate at this level would understand.

And then Day 29 asked me about character being fate—about how who you are shapes where you end up. And something clicked.

I realized I’ve been looking for people who do what I do instead of people who are what I value.

I value caring. Compassion. Authenticity. People who show up for others. People who are real about their struggles.

And you know what? Those people exist everywhere. They’re not all running 43 miles on their birthday. They’re not all doing Phase 1 of 75 Hard. But they have the character traits I actually care about.

I need to be more open to others and let more people in. It’s okay that they don’t do what I do. It doesn’t mean they can’t be in my circle.

That’s the breakthrough. I’ve been isolating myself by choice, then feeling lonely about it.

Where My Time Actually Goes (Spoiler: I Had No Idea)

Day 30 hit different. The passage was about claiming the lion’s share of your time instead of accepting remnants.

I had to admit something I’d been avoiding: I’m not quite sure where my time goes.

I have a system. I use Pomodoro blocks—25 minutes of focused work with my watch timer. I set MITs (Most Important Tasks) and I actually complete them. The system works when I use it.

But most of my schedule is just general blocks. “Work time” from 10am-2pm. What does that mean? What am I actually doing? I already know what needs to happen in those blocks, but I’m not being specific.

So when the timer goes off and it’s time to start a block, my brain offers me an escape route: the phone. Just check it real quick. Scroll for two minutes. And suddenly 25 minutes is gone and I haven’t started.

The leak isn’t that I don’t have time. The leak is doom scrolling when I don’t want to do the task.

I wasn’t lacking time. I was lacking specificity—and then using my phone to avoid the discomfort of starting.

The Gratitude That Changed Everything

Day 31 asked: “Were you born good?” And it made me list everything I’ve been keeping bottled up.

Loneliness. Business struggles. Wanting to pivot while maintaining revenue. Feeling drained with nothing to show for it. Trying to be better but some days having nothing visible to prove it.

I wrote it all out. Every frustration. Every doubt. Every place where I’m judging myself for not having enough to show.

And then—this is the weird part—I felt grateful.

Not toxic positivity grateful. Not “everything happens for a reason” grateful. Real gratitude.

I have the skills and mindset to change my state at any point. I can do things to make myself feel better. I can improve my situation. Most people don’t realize they have that power.

That gratitude didn’t make the problems disappear. But it pushed me toward action instead of paralysis. It gave me clarity about what to do next.

November: The Commitment Month

So here’s what I’m doing differently starting November 1st.

I’m treating my calendar like I treat a run. Non-negotiable. Not a suggestion—a commitment.

The November System:

1. Schedule meticulously the night before or morning of—not general blocks, but specific tasks
2. Treat each block like a scheduled run (I don’t skip runs, so I don’t skip blocks)
3. Phone physically outside the door during work blocks (I already have my watch for the 25-minute timer)
4. No doom scrolling—when resistance hits, either push through OR change state by walking/moving, but never reach for the phone
5. Honor one 25-minute block at a time (not trying to be perfect for hours)

Four Days In: It Just Is

This morning was the test. It’s Monday. I had a schedule. And then life happened.

Dishes piled up. Laundry needed doing. My son needed to be dropped off. Oil change needed scheduling. All the little things that usually derail the whole day and send me into “well, the plan is shot” mode.

But Day 32 was about amor fati—loving your fate. Day 33 was about making choices and accepting outcomes. Day 34 was about seeing difficulties as doctor’s orders—prescribed for your growth.

And Day 35 said it plainly: Change isn’t good or bad. The status quo isn’t good or bad. They just are.

So when the disruptions came this morning, I didn’t fight them. I didn’t label them as problems. I just handled them and kept moving.

By 10am I’d done:

• Three stoic journal entries (including this practice)
• One MIT session for my agency
• Gym, meditation, sauna
• Connected with people in the sauna (acting on that isolation breakthrough)
• All the house chores that showed up
• Showered, coffee, ready for the next blocks

And here’s the thing: I gained energy from it.

Not from being perfect. Not from executing the plan flawlessly. But from staying in motion, adjusting without drama, and honoring the effort even when the outcome wasn’t what I planned.

The Real Measure

I used to measure my days by visible output. How many tasks checked off. How much progress made. How much I could show for my time.

Now I’m measuring by effort and intention. Did I honor my commitments? Did I stay in motion when disruption came? Did I return to the plan instead of spiraling?

Some days I’ll complete all six blocks. Some days I’ll only get three. Either way—if I honored the effort, it was a good day.

The resistance will always be there. I’m not trying to eliminate it. I’m learning to work with it while still honoring my commitments.

As long as I commit to the process, the results will come. I don’t even worry about the results anymore. I just stay in the process. And when things don’t go as planned—which they won’t—I forgive myself and adjust.

Because it just is.

And I can gain energy from that.